Have you ever felt a magnetic pull to a place you have never been? For no particular reason other than you can just feel something there for you. That is the reason I moved to Calabria, Italy. Simply because I felt something was here for me, but I didn’t exactly know what. There was a sense of purpose and belonging, but no logical reason. It wasn’t until I laid my eyes upon the Coast of the Gods that I felt that energetic pull illuminate my heart.
Before I arrived in Italy I was in service to a sacred temple
Named Solidago Gardens. Built in direct alignment with the Winter Solstice with two gardens that encompassed its light. A garden for the Divine Feminine and a garden for the Divine Masculine with the temple placed right in the center. Constructed in alignment with the four directions of the Shamanic Medicine Wheel. Serpent to the south, Jaguar to the West, Hummingbird to the North, and Eagle to the East. During ceremony, I would move energy through prayer, and once complete I would open the four directions to release. Solidago gifted me what my Soul was deeply seeking and in return, I gifted that energy to others.
I thought I had finally found my place in this world. I had my spiritual community, a home that I loved, and a sacred temple to be of service in. Solidago is where I planted my grandmother’s spider lilies. Where I healed my deepest wounds and connected to the Angels who have been guiding me all along.
She was my Heavenly realm with the most majestic beams of light that shines within her walls
One of the hardest transitions of my life was leaving. But within her walls I kept hearing, “Higher Realms”
I felt my Angels shift the energy within and I started to feel pushed out of the temple. Not in a negative way, but similar to when a Mother bird tells her baby it’s time to leave the nest. Time to spread their wings and fly. I didn’t want to leave, but when the Divine is intervening in your physical world reality, it is nearly impossible not to listen. So I began to detach and open up my vision to receive what I knew was coming.
I had to release my identity as ‘Cleansing Courtney. An Integrative Wellness Specialist at Miraval Austin. A Yoga teacher, Small Business Owner, and Creator of Wellness Programming.’ An identity I spent the last decade building all on an internal voice speaking, ‘Higher Realms.’
Then I found it. The Coast of the Gods in Tropea, Italy. There was a photo of a small church on top of a hill overlooking the Sea. At that moment I knew that one day I would be at that church. I knew Tropea was where I was going even though I had no idea how or when, or why. I felt the magnetic pull and in order to fulfill it, I let go of absolutely everything.
On Sunday, June 26th, 2022 I took my first steps into the church. What I experienced was the complete opposite of what I had expected. Come to find out this Sacred Church is a tourist destination you pay three euros to enter. There is no mass, no prayer or ceremony, and anyone who was coming off the beach can walk right in. It felt empty, depleted, alone, sad, and confused. I couldn’t wrap my head around what was happening internally to me.
Here I traveled all the way across the world to pray in this church and I had no sense of sacred space. Truthfully I didn’t know Santa Maria had a garden attached to it until after I arrived in Italy. So, when I walked back into the garden there was a moment of relief because the pathway looked very similar to Solidago.
The internal voice recited, “Not Yet” very loudly during my presence in this church
So, I left. Deeply saddened by my first moment in this Church I had been envisioning myself in for over a year. Afterward, I realized I’m not ready to receive what is waiting for me here. What lies within these walls is a massive call to service. It is going to require the highest level of devotion and dedication, and I know what I must do. A part of me is torn between the choices I need to make, but I already know which one I will choose.
My heart is deeper in my practice than it is with any other connection in this realm. But I need more time to accept this path for myself. The Gods didn’t bring me to Tropea, Italy without knowing one day I would fully commit to their bidding. It is only a matter of time before that day arrives. When I surrender and bow down in service, only then will I be ready to fulfill the purpose that lies deepest within my heart.